If you’re a writer, or at least one that’s been around writers for a decent amount of time—you know, you’ve written some stories, maybe some novels, had something published, pursued an MFA in Creative Writing somewhere, chances are you’ve become friendly with some of your fellow writers and perhaps even some of your heroes. I’ve had the luck to meet some of mine, and am friends with a good many others. Every year or so, I have a number of friends who have works coming out, and I believe in showing my support for their accomplishments and publications. But that doesn’t mean I’m necessarily going to blast out Facebook and X and Instagram posts telling my social media friends to buy my pal’s book—I believe I owe it to readers first to “promote” books I deem worthy over my friendships with said writers. This, in some circles, is viewed with distaste. But I’ve learned something over many years of my writing “career,” and that’s this: No one owes you anything, and your reputation is all you’ve got in the industry (for the most part). Writing can be a frustrating endeavor, but so can the other things that accompany it. The key to proper etiquette and how to support authors hawking their books is something you should be very familiar with.
When I first started writing, I thought everything I wrote was the best thing ever written. In a way, you must believe that, or at least believe in yourself, if you’re going to have what it takes to write. Not that you don’t know, in your heart, that what you’ve written is shit—it probably is shit. Only that you need the confidence to continue writing when you know what you’re writing is nowhere near what you’re trying to write. It’s why we rewrite. And edit. And rewrite. And . . . you get the point. But I want to focus today on how to support authors and what your (and their) expectations should be. You may have the same expectations—I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine. But that may not be in your best interest—or theirs.
If you’re a writer, you’re probably familiar with the saying “sending the elevator back down.” If you aren’t familiar with it, it means helping those who come after you in art, in work, in whatever. It may include promoting their work, promoting them, creating opportunities for them where there may be limited or no opportunities available to them based on their own effort. It’s a great gesture, and it’s one appreciated by the person jumping on that elevator that came back down. In writing, especially for beginning writers, it may be something like a blurb, an introduction to an editor or agent, maybe some substantive feedback on a manuscript. For some, it’s just the inclusion into a writing group that helps said writer improve their writing. Whatever. This post is about curating, or being selective, in what you promote, even if that means disappointing (or angering) your friend, your acquaintance, someone who’s reached out to you because they believe you’re able to help them out in some way in advancing their writing career.
Now, I’m not focusing on the people helping writers, but rather the writers themselves and what their expectations should be when it comes to asking for help/a favor/an introduction. I think it’s prudent to make a bulleted list that you should think about prior to asking your friend or acquaintance to help you out in some way, as I’ve broken a few of these “rules” myself over the years, putting friends and fellow writers in uncomfortable positions, which isn’t what you want to do. If you know the writer well, some (or all) of these may not apply.
Here’s my list:
Asking someone to read your work. Everyone’s busy. If they’re a friend, go for it. An acquaintance, maybe. Other than that, you may be asking a lot of this person.
Asking for a blurb. If the author you’re asking to blurb your book isn’t a friend or acquaintance, and they’re a popular/well-known author, they’re probably being bombarded by authors to blurb their books.
Asking someone to buy your book. If someone wants to buy your book, they’ll buy it. If someone recommends it to them, they’ll probably buy it. Desperation isn’t what readers are looking for in their authors.
Asking people to attend events where they must travel great distances. Most writers I know don’t make a lot of money. Traveling long distances cost money. Maybe ask your banker friends or folks you know can afford to travel, if they’re close friends. Skip those friends for whom this would be a hardship.
Complaining that no one is buying your books (this is mostly, in my experience, self-published authors). No one wants to hear anyone complaining about anything, much less that people aren’t buying your writing or art or whatever. Just do a good job and hope for the best. I’m not saying don’t hustle, but no one wants to hear your problems.
Asking someone how many books they’ve sold (it’s like asking someone how much money they make). I did this one time and that’s what the author told me. I hadn’t even considered that, but it makes sense.
Expecting an author to attend an event where they aren’t paid. Authors who visit MFA programs are paid to be there. They may enjoy the interactions and sell some books, perhaps do a live reading, or participate in a roundtable, but they don’t work for charity. It’s like asking an electrician to come do some work for free. They won’t do it, and neither should any creative person, including writers.
There are plenty other ways you can support authors without creating uncomfortable situations for others, in particular other authors, literary agents, publishers, etc. The truth is, you should expect nothing from anyone and be grateful when someone does something to help you and your writing career in some fashion. Every writer has a reputation they’re working on, or have worked on for years, and it’s imperative to their career to uphold and maintain the standards they’ve set for themselves when considering putting forth efforts for others that may damage, however minutely, that reputation. Think of it this way. Have you ever asked for a restaurant recommendation and had a bad experience? Watched a movie that fell short of your expectations? Gone somewhere and nodded your way out of there as quickly as Chevy Chase did at the Grand Canyon in National Lampoon’s Vacation? I have, and if you’re like me, you never asked that person for a recommendation for anything ever again. The same holds true in writing and publishing. Know your audience. If you know someone would be more than happy to help you sell your books--go for it. But make sure you aren't imposing.
Understand what you’re asking. Think about how you would feel if you were put in the same situation. And be thankful—this is a tough passion/calling/industry we’re trying to survive and thrive in, and every little bit helps. You don’t want to push away the very people who may, down the road, help you get to where you want to be.
Cully Perlman is an author, blogger, and substantive editor. He can be reached at Cully@novelmasterclass.com
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