7 Great Metaphors in Fiction to Emulate

Metaphors. A lot of us know what they are. Some of us don’t. Some of us use them, while others just grab the first one they like or see that makes sense, drop them into their own fiction, and think they’re being smart or clever or just taking a shortcut that allows them to not have to put the work in. If you’re doing that—you’re being cliché. You’re using overused metaphors that, while maybe serving your purposes in the short term, are hurting your writing. Metaphors are a figure of speech, and the simple definition is that they’re when you use one thing by mentioning another. They’re supposed to provide clarity by comparing something literal or figurative to something else that’s also literal or figurative. But Metaphors can be overdone, and they shouldn’t be. Not in your writing.

Here are a few of the metaphors you might want to avoid in your own fiction:

Give the cold shoulder to someone (meaning to ignore someone either because they’re angry at them or don’t like them for some reason—be it they’ve been betrayed by that person or once dated or were married to that person and thus dislike them, etc.).

Turn a blind eye to someone means to look away or ignore whatever is happening, usually referring to looking away from someone doing something bad

Paint the town red means to go out and have a great time at bars, restaurants, wherever

Got their claws into someone means having control of someone or greatly influencing someone

Was a zoo (the supermarket, the classroom, whatever), meaning there were a lot of people there and it was hectic.

Stepped up to the plate, meaning a challenge arose (at work, for instance) and someone took charge and did what had to be done to find a solution or remedy to whatever problem existed

Heart of gold, meaning to be very generous or empathetic to others’ situations

The world is a stage, (see below), which is one of Shakespeare’s most quoted lines, simply means that people enter the world, play their part(s), and then exit (or die)

Wear my heart on my sleeve simply means that a person makes their feelings or emotions explicitly known, rather than hiding them

Light of my life which refers to someone who brings joy and meaning to another person’s life

Laughter is the best medicine, meaning happiness and laughter can improve a person’s health and wellbeing

Like a rolling stone simply refers to someone who constantly moves and doesn’t stay in one place for whatever reason

What I try to do (and not always successfully) is create my own metaphors based on ones that already exist. When I read fiction where authors successfully do that, and do it in an original way, do it by using a metaphor not used before, or at least seldomly used before so that it’s not one commonly recognized by readers, it feels like magic.

A good metaphor sticks out. It transforms a sentence from something that makes sense to something that makes more sense, even if you don’t know why. Take this sentence, for instance: “He had a great imagination.” In terms of a sentence, it’s utilitarian. The reader immediately understands what the author means, and so the sentence has done its job, but that’s all it’s done. No further explanation is necessary; the reader just keeps reading. Now read this one, written by an unknown writer: "His imagination was a spider's web, catching dancing fairies.” Boom! right? It’s visual. It’s aphoristic. It’s a wow moment for the reader, and one the reader is likely to not forget. That is what great writing is about. And great metaphors are part of great writing, whether in fiction or nonfiction.

So, let’s dive in to a few metaphors that merit being singled out for their originality.

Here are 7 great metaphors in fiction to emulate by writers who took common metaphors, reworked them, and created magic.

1. “They crossed a vast dry lake with rows of dead volcanoes ranged beyond it like the works of enormous insects.” – Cormac McCarthy, Blood Meridian

McCarthy has used his skill with visual, descriptive writing to paint a picture for the reader that evokes danger (vast dry lake, dead volcanoes, enormous insects,) abandonment, and, I’d argue, the threat of that danger in the concept of “enormous insects.” So much in one small sentence.

2. “She’s too young, it’s too late, we come apart, my arms are held, and the edges go dark and nothing is left but a little window, a very little window, like the wrong end of a telescope, like the window on a Christmas card. – Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

Atwood’s sentence runs the reader through a series of events, both literal and figurative, and then creates a stunning visual—a very little window, like the wrong end of a telescope, like the window on a Christmas card. Everything is encapsulated, shrunken down, claustrophobic.

3. “He left at ten and rode home along the river, which rippled with moonlight like the slow bulk of a sleeping reptile.” – Jay McInerney, Ransom

"The slow bulk of a sleeping reptile." You can almost see the ripples on the river. We know it's nighttime. We know the moon is shining. And depending on your feelings towards reptiles, McInerney creates for you terror or peace.

4. “The waves are like a constant heartbeat that tells you the world is still alive.” – Jenny Hobbs, The Sweet-Smelling Jasmine

We hear the waves. We see them. We hear the heartbeat, because the tide brings the waves in, then pulls them back out in a rhythm, a cadence, similar to the rhythm and cadence of a heartbeat. When that heartbeat stops, that’s it. It’s over. And the eternity of the tides makes readers feel like it’ll never end, not the waves nor “you.”

5. “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” – William Shakespeare, As You Like It

Thirteen words encompassing life, death, and everything in between. Shakespeare brilliantly describes what every living human being goes through, irrespective of their economic status, gender, career, or any other aspect of human existence.

6. “The stars are the streetlights of eternity.” – Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane

Where do those seven words take you, mentally? For me, I’m immediately staring at the night sky, wondering what exists beyond what we know here on earth. Time is forever, he seems to be saying, and we only just need to figure out a way to experience it.

7. “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” – T.S. Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

Eliot’s short sentence has the narrator divulging to the reader that his life has been relatively meaningless. That it is composed of small, mundane action with nothing of importance happening, creating a sadness within him.

Now, you may say, show me the metaphors these authors reworked to get the ones they wrote. Offhand, I can’t. And that’s the beauty of these authors’ metaphors. They’re fabulous, right? They touch you, the reader, in ways that are so mysterious, so insightful, so originally put, that it’s immeasurable, the impact they have on you as you make your way through these authors’ narratives. And that is what you should strive for in your own writing. That is what writing, great writing, is about. So, don’t take shortcuts. Spend the time to be original. Think about what you’re trying to say, and then say it in a way that’s never been said before.

Metaphors, like similes, allusions, allegories, and more, are tools you should keep in your back pocket as a writer, pulling them out when something needs fixing, or beautifying, or, as most metaphors do, open your readers eyes to something magically clarified for them like a firework exploding in the night sky.

Cully Perlman is author of a novel, THE LOSSES, a short story writer, blogger, and substantive editor. He can be reached at Cully@novelmasterclass.com 

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